This is Not About Being on Fire.

So, the other day, we thought it would be a good idea to buy a cactus pear:

They were an ingredient on Chopped, in the dessert basket, and everyone seemed to enjoy the desserts prepared. Also, on one of those nights where P and I found ourselves watching infomercials, there was one for some health drink that relieves joint pain because of the Power of Cactus Pear Juice. Also also, it was only 70 cents. So we figured 'why not?'

I had bought one previously and it was still rotting in my fridge, so I decided to cut this one instantly. I took the skin off and sliced it up, figuring that the seeds were edible since they took up about 95% of the fruit itself, as you can see from the above picture. It's also a very pretty color and looks very juicy, so I was expecting to have a delightful, star fruit-esque experience and thus be able to purchase cheap cactus pears forever and be super healthy because of it.

Buuut no. That is never the case. Instead of tasting delicious, the cactus pear was like a non-juicy, much less flavorful watermelon. The 'pit,' which is edible but surrounded by a membrane, was filled with tiny, hard, unchewable seeds and had even less flavor/juice than the outer fruity/melony layer [which was only about 1 millimeter thick].

So I decided to fix it by sauteeing the pear slices in butter and sugar. I thought that was what they had done on Chopped and that it might help it. It looked promising--the pear was getting redder and juicier, which is usually a good sign. Unfortunately, the finished product was no tastier than the first. I think it was even less sweet, somehow, despite the fact that it was half sugar by then. It also tasted like zucchini and now, after all of them had been cooked, the seeds were even harder to chew. Needless to say, we threw it out.

Moral of story: Don't buy a cactus pear. Ever.